Three Hundred, A Musical

Act I


Scene 3

(The HOTEL LOBBY. The CLERK is standing behind the desk. R.J. MCDONALD, the owner, a man in his early fifties, is standing near the front doors.)

MCDONALD

Looks like itís going to be a beautiful day.

CLERK

Yes, sir, Mr. McDonald.

MCDONALD

A nice day always makes people want to jump in the car and take a trip.

CLERK

I suppose so, sir.

MCDONALD

(Crosses to CENTER STAGE.)
You bet. Theyíll come right down Highway 80 and theyíll say, ďThat looks like a nice town. Letís stop there for the day.Ē And theyíll come right down Main Street and theyíll say, ďThat looks like a nice hotel. Letís stay there for the night.Ē And thatís when weíll rent another room.

CLERK

I hope so, sir.

MCDONALD

Are all of our guests comfortable? Do they have everything they need?

CLERK

I donít know, sir. He checked out early this morning.

MARIE

(Enters through the front door and crosses quickly to MCDONALD.)
Daddy, I have to talk to you.

MCDONALD

Good morning, dear.
(HE kisses HER on the forehead.)
Whatís the matter?

MARIE

Itís Billy. Oh, Daddy, I just donít know what to do!

MCDONALD

Whatís he done now?

MARIE

Just the usual. He ignores me. He forgets about our dates. All he wants to do is bowl. He wants to bowl a perfect game.

MCDONALD

That seems like an ambitious goal.

MARIE

Daddy! I want to get married, and have a family. He wonít even take enough time off from bowling to get a decent job. How can we have a future if he doesnít make any money?

MCDONALD

Correct me if Iím wrong, but doesnít he work for Marvin at the bowling alley?

MARIE

Just part time. Anyway, he canít support a family on that!

MCDONALD

Good heavens! Youíre not . . .

MARIE

No, of course not! But someday . . .

MCDONALD

Certainly. What would you like me to do?

MARIE

Offer him a job?

MCDONALD

Pardon me?

MARIE

On the condition that he marries me and gives up bowling.

MCDONALD

That seems fair enough. He gets you. The bowling alley loses his patronage, which no doubt will be a blow from which Marvin will never recover. And I get another employee I donít need (glancing at CLERK) to take care of the customers I donít have. A neat solution all around.

MARIE

Daddy, donít you want me to be happy?

MCDONALD

Of course I do. But I donít see why you have to offer him a bribe to marry you. Heíll get over this bowling obsession soon enough. And he seems like a nice young man.

MARIE

HEíS A CREEP!

MCDONALD

BUT HE SEEMS VERY NICE.

MARIE

HEíS A BUM!

MCDONALD

HEíS BEEN KIND TO YOUR MOTHER.

MARIE

I DONíT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

MCDONALD

HE SEEMS PERFECT FOR YOU.

MARIE

IíVE DONE ALL THAT I CAN.

MCDONALD

HEíS A NICE YOUNG MAN.

MARIE

Oh, Daddy, how can you say that?

MCDONALD

Well, heís very polite. He has good table manners. He dresses very nice.

MARIE

Yes, he always wears a clean bowling shirt!

MCDONALD

Youíre being much too hard on him.

MARIE

Daddy, thereís got to be something wrong with a person who wants to spend his entire life throwing a heavy ball at a bunch of helpless bowling pins.

MCDONALD

I could think of worse things.

MARIE

Like what?

MCDONALD

Well, he could be . . .

MARIE

IíM SO MAD!

MCDONALD

YOUíLL GET OVER IT, DEAR.

MARIE

I COULD SCREAM!

MCDONALD

DONíT GET ALL IN A BOTHER.

MARIE

I DONíT CARE ANY MORE.

MCDONALD

HEíLL SHOW UP AT OUR DOOR.

MARIE

IíVE DONE ALL THAT I CAN.

MCDONALD

HEíS A NICE YOUNG MAN.

MARIE

BUT I SUPPOSE

MCDONALD

IT COULD BE TRUE

MARIE

HE MIGHT PROPOSE.

MCDONALD

HEíS NOT FOR YOU.

BOTH

I COULD BE WRONG, YOU KNOW.

MARIE

HEíS KIND OF SWEET.

MCDONALD

HEíS JUST A GUY.

MARIE

HEíS AWFULLY NEAT.

MCDONALD

HEíLL MAKE YOU CRY.

BOTH

I COULD BE WRONG, YOU KNOW.

MARIE

IíM IN LOVE!

MCDONALD

BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU DO!

MARIE

I CANíT HELP IT!

MCDONALD

YOU HAD BEST FIND ANOTHER.

MARIE

YOU WERE RIGHT, I AGREE.

MCDONALD

YOU DONíT LISTEN TO ME!
IíVE DONE ALL THAT I CAN!

(THEY look at each other in surprise.)

BOTH

HEíS A NICE YOUNG MAN!

END OF ACT I, SCENE 3

GO TO ACT I, SCENE 4